why am i worrying about it soo much?

last night, i couldn't sleep. so, i was lying on my bed, staring at the bottom of my sister's bed (its a double bed), listening to one of my fave radio stations (stupid cd player...its broken. same goes for my discman, which apparently became my ate's discman. she's always using it. now, those earphones won't work. i can't hear anything!!), thinking about some stuff...

unfortunately, i imagined myself dead..in a coffin...beneath the ground. and it really scared me. i swear. i really am afraid of dying...i dont know why im worrying about it so much. i became more paranoid than before...to think i almost cried. i tried to wake up my lil sis, who was sleeping soundly. i asked her if she could sleep beside me. she mumbles something i can't understand. so i decided to go back to my bed to pray.

i was starting to panic...and i decided to call up someone...i was so happy that faye was still awake...i felt that i needed to talk to someone, even if im the type who doesn't like to talk on the phone. can't seem to understand why people can talk straight for more than 30 minutes. haha.
going back, i told her my dilemma...and i don't know if she found it funny or strange. haha, told me to stop thinking about it and instead, think of babyboii..unidentified crushable! haha, at least, i felt better after having that phone conversation. thenkshu, muummaaaaa!!

i talked to julie awhile ago, and she told me that its really scary coz we don't know what will happen.. yes. a very intellectual answer. i know you might find me strange to suddenly imagine myself on my own death bed...i hope i'll forget it later. i realized that this is actually real to my friend's friend...he has this problem with his heart. poor guy. at least, he can prepare for it.. its not like those getting hit by a car, being shot at, bloody deaths.

i visited my lolo and lola's haus in mandaluyong that day. my parents decided to visit them coz my lolo is sick. all the while i thought he was really ill...like bed-ridden sick, too weak to move kind of sick. but when i saw him, he's healthy as before...cheerful in his own way. he's suffering from the weather, getting allergies and headaches. im glad he's okay. my lola's knitting again. its been a long time since i last saw her carrying one of her crochet stuff. haha, typical grannies:) i went with my cousin to the parlor coz i was getting bored there. then, i accompanied her to the mall to find a top..haha, she's going to a wedding..to think that wedding happened 2 hours later. no wonder she's stressed. hehe

i always love going there. we always order pizza there. my lolo orders it, but he never eats one. i love pizza. my fave food. i'll never get tired of eating that greasy thing. yum.