striving to be one?

people told me that im worrying too much, and giving myself too much pressure. i have so much expectations that i get disappointed easily. am i that sensitive? am i really like this? is this bad?

their advice: to be carefree, to be not afraid of falling, or of failing.

well, its hard to do that. at this point in my life, i don't think i could afford to do that. there are things i should be responsible for. doing good in school would be one of it. the perfectionists expect a lot from me and my sibs. my sibs, for one thing, have done a great job and still are doing well in putting up with their standards. the perfectionists don't really appreciate 2 perfect marks if they find out that i almost failed another. not a sight of sheer joy for those things you've worked hard on. so, i won't allow myself to not make their cut.

now im confused.

is this because i have this big chunk of pride that i don't want to embarrass myself in front of them? that i can't bear my ego to be stepped on coz if it happens, i would be forced to give up things i enjoy doing.

i suddenly remembered what this person told me after relating this matter. she said, i keep on putting up with their wishes that i didn't recognize how unhappy i am. am i happy with this goal they've planned for me? or would i be a loser if i didn't become one of them?

this, seriously, is giving me a headache.