the truth about you

i dont know how to say this or make it easy for you to understand. you are the biggest pain in my life. you're the only one who has the power to make me feel terrible about myself, to push me down below, to break me up in pieces, to make me suffer. Why are you so delighted killing me? i don't even know why im letting you rule my world. No matter how hard i try to fight back and hurt you, you always win. you act as if you're numb, as if it is nothing. its making me insane. i want to run away from you, to erase you from my memory, but i cant 'cause im stuck with you.
in one snap, you can make me forget all the pain you've caused me and make me believe that we love each other and enjoy each other's company. another snap can bring me back to reality and feel all the anger and bitterness i've always felt. I have to admit, i can't imagine my life without you. it would be perfect.. too perfect that it looks horrible. Maya, in Just Shoot Me, said, "sometimes, you have to forgive someone because you want them in your life." yes, things will never be okay between us and that's pretty much a miracle if it'll come true. i guess it will take a long time, probably forever, until we reach that state of perfection, as you call it, but i still believe we will. Find it hard to believe, but im glad im stuck with you.
--> this is dedicated to the person i love and hate the most.